On making a piece

 I was commissioned by my students to make a piece. the only reason i would say no is due to fear, which was not a good enough excuse. so i followed my fear and decided to see what would happen if i. below are the cultivated insights:


What I was interested in, the initial tether as impetus for creative process:
Interested in bringing my interests/questions into the process- theory into practice

Resolving people's fear- following your fear-- as a dancer, performer, and/or human...using the stage as a venue for resolving fear.

My fears, playing with mine as the process in the process and mixing w the company's

Standing on edge of now and seeking what comes next, scary but that becomes the medium

Collaboration, open space to suggest- accept and deny 

We build it together from the language that is set up ) company class and score

Theory into practice--so many classes taken in improv and composition, but I have never really utilized them in a compositional context- myself being the artist. i have used the tasks in class for teaching purposes, but never for creating purposes. I wanted to put trust in the process and see where it would take me.

Edge of now- using Doug verone's methods and trying not to judge, interested in using the new methods to see how to do that and what that looks like

Using Paul's partnering tools for superhuman people dancing- trust circle 2.0

Doing things that tickle me

what we/I did:

Free write curiosity and fear- 3 minutes on each subject

Sharing the writings

You not you dances- improvised and choreographed
superYou dances- what does your super You look life

What I learned:

Habits patterns, my patterns
there is a point in the process where i want to abandon ship, the censor/saboteur takes over and just wants to quit... this time i realized that this is a familiar feeling, albeit not very pleasant, but i was able to be aware that it was present, but not take it too seriously. It is a very strong feeling, but it's just a feeling.

Yet again: that we are all just waiting for permission. the dancers will go there with you if you set up the space. they were asking: "Now what?" "what do we do next" (this eventually was an impetus for parts of the text)

R talking to W  about it being part of the dance  (see notes from journal)

Everyone is standing at the edge of now, all together, all connected. No one knows what is going to happen next, that is what makes us so connected. no matter what we do or who we are we are all connected by the fact that we do not know what is coming next. and although we have set up things in the present for the future, we really do not have an idea of what will happen-- we cannot foresee unforeseeable circumstances and we also cannot foresee how others are going to react to what we set up. In this case it teaches to be open to possibilities, and it makes sense why people attempt to control everything-- because we have no control. This was a practice of letting go and seeing what happens next. To trust. To trust the process to trust the dancers/artists/collaborators and myself.

(in rereading this 7 months later 2/2/15, I am reminded that is a constant life practice, a meditation)