Every meeting, there is one 'dreamer' who shares a dream with the rest of us, catchers, if you will.
As part of the sharing, we are invited to share in the dream. As the dreamer talks of their dream, it becomes a dream we all share. We are invited to think of everyone's dream as our own. And even within the dream, all of the people in the dream, are parts of the dreamer herself. 'Whatever you say about anyone's dream is your projection. This is a subjective universe, everything we think of someone else is a what we think of ourselves.' This opens us up new ways of thinking, because it allows for perspective into what we perceive and hold on to. It also develops a sense of trust and empathy within the group because we are all connected to the experience by sharing in the experience.
The answers are not in the dream themselves. The dream is a medium in which we get to unravel some parts of ourselves that need to be shared, discovered, untangled and brought to light. The process of sharing the dream gives permission for people to talk about things that they would otherwise not want to talk about or not even see as important. Talking about the dream "takes the charge out" of the vulnerable things that we need to talk about. The dream offers us up something that we don't know.
An Adendum 6/11/13:
In talking to Kris, I came to the realization that the dream group allows for people to have access to more language. By sharing dreams and talking about them in a group, new perspectives get shared with each other. Everyone is privy to a new language that is used by the other members in the group which allows for more perspectives about one's own experience. By opening up to someone else's thoughts, words and views of the world, the dreamer (and the others) is/(are) allowed to find new entry points into her choices, perceptions, actions, events and situations. This broadens the mind and allows for new ways of conquering the 'problem(s)'.Sometimes, as I've said before, verbal language falls short of expressing what needs to be expressed, but sometimes, verbal language gives access to a different mode of thinking. Saying outloud or thinking "'take the charge out'; 'let go of the outcome', 'I'm gonna be zen about this'" allows for a change in the mode of thinking and yields you to understand and lean into the situation at hand.
Through the sharing of the dreams I have been immersed in many discoveries, perspectives, insights and magic. And a list of a few good books.
a few to note:
In doing the dream work: Kathy provides tips and tools on how to handle the world. This group opens up the world for us to peel and unravel.
When talking about the dreamer's dream, one is invited say (just about to say: "must say" . . .) "If this were my dream . . ." ---and then provides the comment of what they would do in the dream situation or think about the dream. But I propose to take this a step further: into waking life. It, as the theme of this post keeps coming up, 'takes the charge out' of judging others and allowing thoughts to be heard from another person's situation without being forceful. It is like Liz Lerman's approach: "I have a suggestion about . . . would you like to hear it?" If this were my dream . . .
The Four Fold Way:
1) Show Up
2) Pay Attention
3) Tell the Truth
4) Let Go of the Outcome
"Take the charge out of it"
-in sharing a dream that had some parts that were sexual in nature, Kathy, the leader of the group, told me to 'take the charge out' and to talk about it without the emotional and personal attachments associated. This allowed for a way into it without judgement or holding back. Taking the charge out of something that is VERY CHARGED allows for a clearer mind and perspective to understand whatever the thing is and to be able to deal with it. It allows for navigation through something rather than being stuck about it. Take the emotional charge out of it to unpack it for what it is objectively. This gives me permission, to let go, to breathe and conquer.
On being Nice--The fatal power of Niceness.
-nice is a way to control another's reactions-niceness-disconnect from self
-nice- cause of anxiety
On Shame--The fatal power of Shame
(I listened to Brène Brown's Ted talk a month before this was brought up:http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html)
Shame: is all that is wrong with the world.
Judgement to keep you confined in the world
The Should and Shouldn'ts imposed by others
Where there are no shoulds, there is a lot of potential.
We are not responsible for each other's feelings
(No obligation of social interaction-Larry Lavender)
What do you want?
Regarding Dreams:
a scene change in a dream indicated anxiety about the situation
Books and resources:
John Gottman
Carl Jung
Osho Zen Tarot
Goddesses in Everywoman: Powerful Archetypes in Women's Lives--Jean Shinoda Bolen
Dance of Anger-- Harriet Lerner
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