Dearest,
When we first started off, I was confused, tentative, scared. I thought you were going to consume me and eat me alive. Sometimes you made me shake with fright. At times, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep with the anticipation of what you were going to do to me. I left the one that made me comfortable, safe, familiar for you. You, who is so charismatic yet filled with uncertainties. But there was a reason that I left that safe familiar one behind. I yearned for something exciting and even if being with you is a tumultuous affair, a love-hate relationship, I love you. I love everything about you. You are truly the man that made a woman out of me.
At first it was just a flirtation. I never thought it would get this far. I never thought I would be so attached. I never would have imagined being so affected by you, being so in love with you. You are such a bright, vivacious spirit, with a hint of beautiful danger. There is nothing like you in the world and I feel so very lucky to have been a part of you. Thank you for bringing me into your world and allowing me to see my life in a different light. I am forever changed and forever grateful. And now I must leave you. It's funny that I came to you with so much fear, and now I am leaving you with the fear of leaving. I am writing this to you while we are still together, before I leave, so that I can write from a place of closeness and not a place of memory. I will always love you, I will never forget you and what you have added to my life.
Yours Forever with Love,
Rada
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Junkyard of Broken Words
I would like to dispose of words here for their rotting qualities, so that they can rot here and not effect my life or well-being...I hope they will be turned into fertilizer and a beautiful rose will sprout from them..
they need a safe space to be disposed of kind of like those bio-hazard bags and those used syringe holders, to protect us from their harmful toxins.
On a different note, these are the words that I found that I really enjoy expressing my thoughts and investigations with:
sorry
hate
can't
should(/shouldn't)
need
fat
pity
always
never
need
fat
pity
always
never
PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN, OR SEND THEM TO ME SO I CAN POST THEM! I WOULD LOVE TO ADD YOURS TO THE JUNKYARD.
they need a safe space to be disposed of kind of like those bio-hazard bags and those used syringe holders, to protect us from their harmful toxins.
On a different note, these are the words that I found that I really enjoy expressing my thoughts and investigations with:
pathological
qualify
coping strategies
investigation
material
concept (it)
human
self
mutually exclusive
"technical terms"
material
concept (it)
human
self
mutually exclusive
"technical terms"
SAME THING APPLIES, IF YOU HAVE WORDS THAT YOU ENJOY USING PLEASE LET ME KNOW, I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THEM TO THE COLLECTION.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
"People Pleasing"
Right as I was writing this post, I caught a broadcast of one of Charlie Sheen's interviews in the other room, yes I said it. And perhaps I am now contributing to the madness, but you know, you need to give credit where credit is due. I am very interested in this topic, but the topic title was given to me courtesy of our friend, Sheen. I wanted to write about it, but I did not have a perfect title for this, and as I started typing, coincidentally he started talking about "People Pleasing" and being "authentic."
So, anyway . . .
I am interested in this and want to write about it because I think it is very powerful. If you can discover and master this, then you have an all natural superpower at your fingertips.
When a person can do something without thinking about how others will view them, then that person has achieved ultimate freedom!
I am not saying one must be careless and apathetic. I am saying the opposite. The little critic critter inside my brain is always aware of other people and constantly reminding me of what they might think if I do something...anything. If I wear something, or eat something, or breathe something, or lick something, or say something or dance something. But this little critter is totally irrational because he (or she?) cannot possibly know what anyone is really thinking. I have a responsibility to myself to do what is in the best interest for myself and however people react is my opportunity to keep adjusting the situation or reaction. Therefore, in this scenario, I am living in the moment. I take the reactions to my actions and keep adjusting. I get it, I get it, I totally get it now what it means to "live in the present". No way to fix the past and no way to foresee the future, just have the opportunity to adjust to whatever is happening in the now, now, now...in little tiny increments, in 'small doses'.
OOooOOLaLa how this all makes sense to me! It's a game, it's kind of very fun...choose your own adventure!!!
So, anyway . . .
I am interested in this and want to write about it because I think it is very powerful. If you can discover and master this, then you have an all natural superpower at your fingertips.
When a person can do something without thinking about how others will view them, then that person has achieved ultimate freedom!
I am not saying one must be careless and apathetic. I am saying the opposite. The little critic critter inside my brain is always aware of other people and constantly reminding me of what they might think if I do something...anything. If I wear something, or eat something, or breathe something, or lick something, or say something or dance something. But this little critter is totally irrational because he (or she?) cannot possibly know what anyone is really thinking. I have a responsibility to myself to do what is in the best interest for myself and however people react is my opportunity to keep adjusting the situation or reaction. Therefore, in this scenario, I am living in the moment. I take the reactions to my actions and keep adjusting. I get it, I get it, I totally get it now what it means to "live in the present". No way to fix the past and no way to foresee the future, just have the opportunity to adjust to whatever is happening in the now, now, now...in little tiny increments, in 'small doses'.
OOooOOLaLa how this all makes sense to me! It's a game, it's kind of very fun...choose your own adventure!!!
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