Harvesting the Dream

it has been a while since i have written about dream group. whenever i mention the dream group, people are very intrigued, i take it for granted because i am lucky enough to go, but when i hear the reactions of others, it reminds me how lucky we are to be a part of it. i realize that there are so many slight insights that are cultivated, and that inspired me to harvest and share the sustenance. below are things that are shared outloud by dreamers or 'if-it-were-my-dream'--ers, kathy, or thoughts that come up to me as i day dream about the dreams.

• ~everything in your dream is an inner experience, all the people/situations/emotions/etc in your dream are aspects of you
• what showed up in the dream is a gift
• when you do not know something, we go directly to: "I can't" versus "I don't know how yet"
• -> mindfulness
• it is time to express yourself
• drop the  idea that you need to make a masterpiece, you already are, cannot be improved, just come to it
• leave it to the universe to put it together not from forcing (swim and dance in the unknown)
• I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.  Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) 
• 'embrace differences', differences are not better or worse. Differences are seen as in conflict - but not . . .
• BOOK: "The Goddesss is in Every Woman"

*one of the most impact-ful (coolest) things that we did was we were made witness to one of the dreamers taking on the roles that were in her dreams and talking as if she were them. it was amazing. kathy guided the dreamer to answer questions as if she were the different people that came up in the dream. it reminds me of letters from "sadness" and "my piece". since whatever is coming up for us, be it emotions, artistic endeavors or dreams, are just a part of us, then being conscious and allowing that essence to have a voice opens a lot of possibilities and perspectives for us. this is truly a gift. it is empowering empathy. to take it further, it would be interesting to take on other people in the same way in waking life. in that way, one might understand the motivation behind their actions.

On making a piece

 I was commissioned by my students to make a piece. the only reason i would say no is due to fear, which was not a good enough excuse. so i followed my fear and decided to see what would happen if i. below are the cultivated insights:


What I was interested in, the initial tether as impetus for creative process:
Interested in bringing my interests/questions into the process- theory into practice

Resolving people's fear- following your fear-- as a dancer, performer, and/or human...using the stage as a venue for resolving fear.

My fears, playing with mine as the process in the process and mixing w the company's

Standing on edge of now and seeking what comes next, scary but that becomes the medium

Collaboration, open space to suggest- accept and deny 

We build it together from the language that is set up ) company class and score

Theory into practice--so many classes taken in improv and composition, but I have never really utilized them in a compositional context- myself being the artist. i have used the tasks in class for teaching purposes, but never for creating purposes. I wanted to put trust in the process and see where it would take me.

Edge of now- using Doug verone's methods and trying not to judge, interested in using the new methods to see how to do that and what that looks like

Using Paul's partnering tools for superhuman people dancing- trust circle 2.0

Doing things that tickle me

what we/I did:

Free write curiosity and fear- 3 minutes on each subject

Sharing the writings

You not you dances- improvised and choreographed
superYou dances- what does your super You look life

What I learned:

Habits patterns, my patterns
there is a point in the process where i want to abandon ship, the censor/saboteur takes over and just wants to quit... this time i realized that this is a familiar feeling, albeit not very pleasant, but i was able to be aware that it was present, but not take it too seriously. It is a very strong feeling, but it's just a feeling.

Yet again: that we are all just waiting for permission. the dancers will go there with you if you set up the space. they were asking: "Now what?" "what do we do next" (this eventually was an impetus for parts of the text)

R talking to W  about it being part of the dance  (see notes from journal)

Everyone is standing at the edge of now, all together, all connected. No one knows what is going to happen next, that is what makes us so connected. no matter what we do or who we are we are all connected by the fact that we do not know what is coming next. and although we have set up things in the present for the future, we really do not have an idea of what will happen-- we cannot foresee unforeseeable circumstances and we also cannot foresee how others are going to react to what we set up. In this case it teaches to be open to possibilities, and it makes sense why people attempt to control everything-- because we have no control. This was a practice of letting go and seeing what happens next. To trust. To trust the process to trust the dancers/artists/collaborators and myself.

(in rereading this 7 months later 2/2/15, I am reminded that is a constant life practice, a meditation)

a letter from my piece (a piece of me)

Dear Rada,
this is your piece stopping by to write you a note of thanks. Thank you for letting me live. I was hidden inside crevices of the white and gray matter dancing solitary waltzes with myself. I so desperately wanted to see the light and shine my own on the people around. There were giggles in my belly that I wanted to share and tickle the fancies of people sitting zombie-like comfortably numb in the safety of their audience thrones. Thank you for freeing me to make love to life and life to love. Remember this, go back to it, its always scary to stand "at the edge of now."  . . .

And Another thing

Love is a very important contact improvisation partner...

fragile hearts

fragile hearts
and perhaps in only makes sense when it hurts
 . . .
but pain is just here visiting.

FELDENKRAIS quote

"Let me say, however, that a healthy person is the one who can live his unavowed dreams fully. ". -Feldenkrais

On Creativity

"Unused creativity is not benign. It does not dissipate. It metastasizes" -Brené Brown
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This reminds me of the inverse: Jealousy is unused inspiration.
And also reminds me of: Curiosity is inversely proportionate to judgmental thought. . .