A New Home

It has been 2 weeks since I went good on my reconciliation process promise to myself. This reconciliation process (RP for short) was basically a list of ideas and actions that I would take to uphold the process of personal development that started happening in New York to my brain..and body. There were a lot of things that I wanted to uphold in Chicago that would allow me to continue on this journey of self-whatevertehellitwas that changed me in NY. The biggest thing was that I needed to be living in the City. As the previous post stated- in my frantic writing of stream of consciousness- that location has a great of influence on a person. I have realized recently how sensitive I am to location and environments around me. I'm permeable. It's not a bad thing, it's just something to be aware of.

unfamiliarly familiar . . . location. location. location.

Writing with a stolen pen thinking with borrowed thoughts in a lended land.
Not my own but mine, me in it, i share the space . . .

Does location really matter?
joy ride to the city to spend sunday funday by myself amidst strangers. But even in this short few hours of borrowed city-living, I feel transformed. Just 15 minutes away the air is transformed into colorful bouquets of people. So different. Pushing, changing, immersing and emerging. Forget to bring that in it gets mixed--gray-brown-in my attempt to preach something I don't practice at this time.

Location influences the psyche. It's the people in the location. The people influence-the contact improvisation of culture-the rubbing up against strangers. It does something. Space makes me lazy and diffused.

I'm getting lost in this conglomerate inundation. Here, you have to be yourself. It's fast, you make decisions faster. I am influneced by the environment and in a good way. Wormhole café. The hipster heaven. jk, I don't even know what that means.

another musical craving

I like to think of my life as a musical, so this is just another song to fit its current soundtrack:

Soundtrack of the day

Little cravings of sound in my head

 

♫ all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be ♫

fff

♫  I've got a sickness, it feels like love
It's not contagious, take off the gloves
Drop your defenses, apply a coat of perfect
I'll form the sentences you try to interpret♫

 

Soundtrack of the day . . .(after 'riding my first rodeo')

♫ I used to know this woman who had the most beautiful
tattoos on the top sides of both of her hands
she was forty three years old and as far as I know
had never yet been with a man
its not that she wasn't attractive she was beautiful
but its the way that she interacted
she was aggressively passive to the point where she
would of intimidated any mitt that ever tried to catch her ♫

 

 

Current Soundtrack in my mind

Cher Horowitz:
"So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so."

and

Sean Bateman: Lauren I want to know you
Lauren: What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me.


and these:

"Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand How it could be Until you shared your secret with me . . . . Until I learned to love myself I was never ever lovin' anybody else"

Got a soundtrack in my mind,

All the time. Kids-
Screamin' from too much beat up
And they don't even rhyme,
They just stand there, on a street corner,
Skin tucked in
And meat side out and shot,
And I'd like to turn them down
But there ain't no knob.

YOGA BLURB.

Walking around the streets of New York City, one gets the sense that there is a new fashion item in style, the yoga mat has become the “new black.” Many people walk around with their yoga mats around their shoulders like it is a fashion statement. I would always look at those people with complete cynicism and skepticism. That was until I went to my first yoga class in NYC. I emerged from the class transformed and had clarity to understand what all of the “yoga-mat carrying” was about. When I take a yoga class, my day melts away. Any bad energy or negative feelings that I have been carrying around with me during the day subside as my body and brain merge and concentrate on the class. To me, yoga is a connection of the body and mind to make one aware of the whole self. Throughout the class the practitioner is urged to listen to their own breath, to pay attention to only themselves, to commit fully to the practice and to make choices that feel good while challenging the body (and mind) to go deeper into the practice. . .
 (written 5/4/2010)

... as much as I appreciate moving and being active, I don't like the gym and working out, it seems sterile and limiting to me, this way of moving fulfilled my quest for a "workout" that stretches and strengthens my body, but as an unexpected bonus, it has given me a way to stress-relief, to find calmness, to find myself for at least the hour and a few minutes after the practice, and also to strive  to infuse this feeling throughout my life. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving.